Almost Christmas

"I just want to spend the night making it with some fatty in an elf suite"

So I have to open this post with something positive to make people think I'm not crazy. I tackled a couple of feats this year by making tamales and rice which I never thought I would be able to do. My mother's cooking will live on. Renewed my lease till 2014. Norman, guess I won't be going anywhere anytime soon. Going to Hawaii in 2 months so let's start counting down the days...now. It's almost 4am and I am up writing a post after not writing in so long because I knew I was just going to bitch about the mess I have put myself into and continue to put myself into. Maybe going to a lake house to make someone happy isn't the worst thing in the world. Just like going to someone's grandmother's house and acting like everything is fine makes someone happy when you are dying inside counting down the days till you wreck this person's world. I should now know that being honest is the best policy. Holding something back when you knew the whole time makes it sting a little more. Even if I thought it was because I was being "nice."

I question my sanity at times. I look back on my string of men and there are things I really need to ask myself. Perhaps I should get counseling but counseling for relationship issues when I am not in a relationship per say is a bit presumptuous. So I do this bad thing where I snoop through people's things. Dr. Laura would say it's a sign of low self esteem or lack of trust in a relationship. Check. Check. Well of course I usually find stuff. If it's a person worth snooping I almost always find stuff. Now I'm not saying I snoop through my friends' things or anything. Just boys. So that brings me to tonight. I hear my ex boyfriend is single now. Lawdy friggin dah I should say...But I don't think that. I should. Why don't I? Perhaps it's because I have yet to find myself in another relationship where I feel how I felt with him. I keep thinking I'm over it. At first I thought I just wanted the relationship and that's what I was missing. Well I guess I have that now. Granted it's not perfect in the slightest but it's someone to talk to and watch tv with while they snore next to me. But I'm not happy and I feel like I did after being in a two year emotionally abusive relationship. This guy hasn't done anything to me but here I am, rock bottom and looking for a way out. I'm such a different person from when I was with him. I wonder if he's changed.

Which brings me to tonight. Why did they break up? After watching Sherlock Holmes till 2am, I did some investigating of my own. I know I'm about to sound like the ultimate pathetic ex girlfriend creep here, but I'm hoping no one reads this and I can just have some external venting here. So I found out why they broke up based on my investigative skills and I have come to the conclusion that it was his insane jealousy due to severe insecurities he is harboring. So I guess he hasn't changed in that aspect. Also he's still smoking weed and rather proud of it like a loser. So I should really push this image of him I have out of my mind and look into the future because he's no different it seems. I just haven't found any guy that interests me and I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure going on as I am. Being single and confused is one thing. Bringing someone along for my Titanic sinking is another. I keep thinking about the times we laughed and really that's it because there were so many bad times that I kind of get them confused. He was funny. Even in Junior High when I knew I hated him I thought he was funny. None of the guys I've seen since him have been funny. More like the opposite. He was athletic which I guess I took for granted at the time. That kind of stuff helps in other areas. Yes he smoked and drank a lot but I am now coming to appreciate what A LOT means. So those were the good things that I have yet to find again. I have yet to find the bad things too but that doesn't seem like a silver lining when I'm sitting at home alone writing this post. There were a lot of bad things and it looks like the new girlfriend got to re-experience them and they had a similar ending. He's pretty fucked up and I wasn't happy for a long time in that relationship. So why? I need a brain washing to reset my messed up feelings.

I wasn't ready to get into another relationship and now he's making plans for the future just like the other guys did when I know those plans aren't going to happen. I'm horrible at ending things. I was in my last relationship about a year longer than it ever should have lasted because I was too afraid to go through that awkward moment where you come out like the bad guy. It's not easy and I have once again picked someone that I'm sure will take it much harder than it need be. Maybe he can just run back to his ex girlfriend and everything will be ok. In any case I'm sure alcohol and cigarettes will take an increased level in his system if that is even possible.

So I have this plan to text the person I shouldn't on his birthday next week. I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get out of it. He'll probably tell me to fuck off or not respond at all. So is it worth even texting him? I don't know. I could lie and say I wish we could be friends but do I really? It's been a year. That's like the time to get over someone right? Like wanting to be friends might be believable. I'm sure if I was in counseling the counselor would say, "No, don't do this. You are repeating past mistakes trying to get different results." Insanity I think is what they call it. I'm sure he'll see right through it and probably hates me. Maybe he's still hung up on the other girl and won't even think twice about a crazy ex girlfriend texting him. I'm back in that mode it seems. Crazy Selina texting people who obvi don't want to talk to her and let it be known. Here is to growing up and it not being any different.

October

And it's bad news 

I don't blame you 

I do the same thing 

I get lonely too

-Rilo Kiley

So I'm sitting at this crisis line. I have one more paper to write and I could think of a million things I'd rather do. Most involve alcohol. I think I have daddy issues. It's funny how many different guys are out there but they are really similar when it comes down to it. I think the fall is my time for boys. Last year around this time the fall was definitely my peak in boy land. Granted this year it's quite different but the end result is the same. I'm just severely emotionally detached with these boys it seems. I like where I'm at but having a boyfriend was nice and I just can't seem to get myself to that level again. So I have these things I really dislike and most people do but I seem to gravitate towards these people. I don't understand it myself. I told a "friend" once that it was because I'm attracted to doomed relationships. Once it was a coincidence but twice I'm starting to think something is wrong with me. My history with drugs is significant and was ultimately the doom to my last relationship and relationship with my father at a young age so you would think this is a thing I should avoid....It's not my fault the whole world does drugs it seems. Maybe I could benefit from counseling. I think that past childhood event is what made me a pessimist. Also really judgmental about pot. I don't know if it brings back that eight year old trauma or if I ...don't even know. This is where the counseling would help. It really bothers me though and the last two guys didn't have these issues so I should be able to get back on track. Don't try and change someone. It never works and makes them resent you. Or at least that's my history with it. It's not fair to try and change someone any way. Even if what they are doing is wrong in my eyes. Who am I to judge. If someone told me to stop wasting my time and money on tv I would think they need to pack up their shit and leave my house. We all have are vices and I should not associate myself with someone who I disagree with because it won't end well. So I'm in this limbo right now. My past experiences tell me that this will end in a horrible way but nothing presently points me towards that direction. It could be ok. We're adults. Sort of. I don't want to hurt anyone and I've made myself dead inside so I'm not sure I can be hurt by a boy right now. Give me time and maybe. Right now I could move to Russia and not look back but that's now. Halloween weekend is soon. Should be fun and a great distractor for this misery that is school. I really need to finish. Damn me for not graduating last year and choosing this dumb profession that requires physiology and anatomy. I could be done already! Ugh. Well that's my boring unaccomplished life right now. I still say 2011 was the best year of my life. 2012 can suck it. 

New Blog

I have started yet another blog and guess what it's about....TV duh! I doubt anyone will read it but it gives me something to do.

TV Show Hobo!

My first .gif! yay

Nobody

"I know that I might be to blame

 for the pain you've been in

and the strange rules of this game

but I'll try not to be a martyr

but I feel that sometime soon, 

something big is gonna change..." 

-Jukebox The Ghost

I had a really morbid thought the other day. I don't know if I ever really loved the guy I dated for more than 2 years. Maybe I did at the time. It was definitely an unhealthy love if it even was love. Our relationship was never something I wanted for myself and he was never the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. He mentioned marriage and being together "forever" and it really freaked me out because I knew whatever I said next was going to be a lie. That probably makes me a horrible person for just sticking with it for no apparent reason then me being selfish. I was wasting his time and him mine, but again hind sight is 20/20. He tells his new girlfriend he loves her. I was a little shocked at this but we have been broken up over a year. I think I was just shocked because after getting out of that relationship I really thought about what exactly love is. It really shouldn't be used so lightly and definitely shouldn't be used when you just got in a huge fight with the girl and almost broke her car door. Like my friend Haden said, people who are single have so much great knowledge about relationships until they are in one again. I'm not sure why I haven't been in another relationship since this one. I partly blame me being picky and me believing I'm destined to die alone. Either of these are valid arguments. Maybe he really does love her...I do hope he's happy. My malicious personality aside. Sometimes I wish we could be friends but we were never really friends before or during our relationship so it makes perfect sense to not be friends after it's all said and done. I feel like I write about this one stupid relationship I've had a lot but I have nothing else interesting to talk about so sorry for the rant about my break up of over a year. He's obviously moved on and so should I. Two years is a blink of the eye to some people and I should focus on new fun single girl in the dating world experiences. I have yet to have any but I'm sure they are coming.

As for the single girl in the creepy guy world there are stories. I went over to a guy's house the other night for what I thought would be fun times of video games or scrabble. No. We talked about STDs and watched People's Court on his bed. I will not be returning. 

Went to Logan's (local bar) and touched all over guys I would rather didn't know I existed. I get too touchy. Call it suppressed sexual tension or what not. The myth is true though. Alcohol makes everyone about 50% more attractive. So does single desperation. Sadly that doesn't get washed away the next morning. 

Guy asked me to come hang out at his place and "study." A lame attempt at trying to get laid is my guess. Is it weird that I expect guys to come to me not me to them? It's the gentlemanly thing to do or so my lazy self thought. I must have gotten lucky before.

I heard a myth that if a guy stays out later with you than he normally would then he must really like you. I guess I'm the exception? What the hell happened to the guys that would hang out with me after dark? Slept with one, he left. Didn't sleep with one, he left. I'm obviously doing something wrong. 

Started talking to a guy I used to like in high school. I used to like nice guys. What happened? Oh yeah they didn't like me back. Life story. I actually found myself attracted to someone just like my ex last week. LIke strangely similar yet even worse for me if you can believe it. I said I never would go back to that, and my dumb self is trying to repeat the patterns. Don't worry though, I think he has a girlfriend. And of course he would. 

Ok I need to finish this and actually work on my paper due tomorrow! 

Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys

"I don't go to gay clubs or gay bars cause I don't know. I have a feeling someone could roofie my drink there." -Sahil

This show sums up my life. Being single and in my 40s...lets hope it doesn't get to that point though. I would die. It really explains what I've tried to explain when people ask me why I have so many gay guy friends. Because they are awesome and it's a different relationship from what you can have with a straight guy or girl. "Guys who will never leave you." That's kind of a desperate quote but it's so true. I like having friendships with guys but when they are straight they tend to leave. I'm not sure if it's me that's doing something wrong. They would probably say yes. Either way they are gone and that's something my gay boys have never done.

I have said that if I randomly got knocked up and was going to put my baby up for adoption I would want to give it to a gay male couple. Because of my love for them and fantasies I have seen on TV. This new show The New Normal has brought up a new question for me though. Surrogacy. I would never want to have my first baby be a surrogacy pregnancy but it made me think would I do it after that? Unlike in the show where Nathan is asking Crystal to be his baby oven I would want my gay friend to be in a committed relationship so the baby would have two parents. I think I would do it though. Like in Thew New Normal they seem to be really in love and would be great parents for the child. It would be a huge deal though. Crystal in the show is 40 and she brings up some valid concerns. With her age the pregnancy is at risk and her body would never be the same. When it's your baby you make exceptions because it's your child and all. The egg donation would be freaky too. That child is yours too basically. That would be hard to just give away. All these things are really difficult to think about so it would have to take a lot of thought and consideration for your love of your friend or friends and what the future of that child would be. I don't think Crystal should have Nathan's baby though. He showed up hung over and late to the meeting where he was even going to ask her. It's like he wants it as a whim thing and needs to put a lot more thought into it. Also being a single parent isn't ideal. Looking forward to seeing what happens.

Teenage Throw Back

Remember that one time in Junior High when they called us into the office to ask if our teacher had ever touched any of the female students inappropriately? I'm currently watching Enlightened and they had a similar situation happen. Everyone called into the office and questioned about what "happened." I was fourteen. How awkward of an age is that? It was like I was living in an episode of 7th Heaven. Well of course our teacher wasn't molesting any one but he was a bit creepy and let girls sit on his desk. I wonder what happened to get him brought to the attention of the vice principle. We'll never know. Actually, Altus is a pretty small town so I'm sure if I asked the right people I could find out. Nothing will ever top that female coach having a relationship with her teenage daughter's bff story I heard from Chelsea but Altus did have an undercover cop run a drug bust at our high school so I'll always have that golden memory to hold on to. I'm so glad those days are over.

So this is College...

"What is it like to see blue?" - Prof Judisch

These are some random thoughts I wrote down in class today: 

Hipsters take Philosophy

-I saw four, FOUR, people with hipster glasses in class today. Pretty much my hipster wet dream. One was super cute. The others were true hipsters. 

She contorts her body to write any minute word on her paper

-This girl seemed like a normal person, but wait, there's more. Anytime she would write something on her syllabus she would lay her head down on the table and take about 3 min to write down the word Tuesday. Who is this girl? Do you need glasses? The last word I saw her write was "Does not take attendance." This did not surprise me. 

Teacher has curly hair, but I think he is likable despite this. 

Teacher started out funny but now has moved into borderline sexual predator territory. 

-There were several of his repeat students in the class. All female. Need I say more? 

Graduating early. "They just want your money." 

We went to Mars. I say we like I did it. NASA went to Mars. "Well we did pay for it." 

-These two quotes, sir, are all I need to hear to know I'm sitting in front of a douche bag.

He remembered me from two other classes we had together. I did not.

-He's obviously in love me with. That was months ago. He must have been starring at me every day in class. 

-False. He has decent memory. I do not. 

My Psychology of Prejudice teacher is Middle Eastern. I expected a white person. Is this irony at its best? 

-After further observation I realize he is Latino. I can't even tell my own race. 

I'm having their baby

"How to be sure that what you say is the truth

When I see flaws in everything that you do?"

-Wolf Gang

How do the girls on this show pay for the hospital bills to have "their" baby? Just a random thought. This show is pretty interesting if you haven't seen it. Mostly young girls that already have 1-2 kids and are already over the whole having a new baby thing. In a recent pregnancy scare (I'm never having sex again) I realized just how much pregnancy is everywhere. Like EVERYWHERE. Or at least that's how it seemed. Turn on the tv, EPT commercial. Watch Shameless and girl gets pregnant. Go to oxygen.com to check out the new Glee Project and video for "I'm having their baby" pops up. Well, I live to bleed another day so no worries on my end but lets just say I was searching through my closet for wire hangers. The show follows these girls who have chosen to do a great thing. Putting up a baby for adoption is the bravest thing most people can do. I think it's probably braver than actually raising the baby yourself. It is your baby you feel like you have to raise it. Like it's the right thing to do but the right thing to do is provide the best life for your baby and in some cases that means giving it to a family who wants it from day 1 and has the means to provide it with what it wants. But back to my original question. Where do they get the money for it? Having babies ain't cheap. Do the adoptive parents pay for all their stuff? I know it's not legal but is it unspoken in every planned adoption? Cause having a baby is like a job and if I were having a baby, this girl don't work for free.

It was my birthday last week and now school is starting. I feel weird. School should be ok. Like it always is I guess. I need something to look forward to. Graduation just isn't that inciting since I will then feel like a bum. 22 living in a college town not going to college. Yeah.....

Dating life...eh I'm not sure I should talk about it. Do people read this? lol. One of my friends isn't talking to me any more. I broke his "trust" or whatever that means. It kind of bums me out because we were pretty good friends but I'm not going to get caught up in some high school bull shit so I must move on. My straight guy friends pretty much all let me down on my birthday get together so I've finally come to the realization that I need to stop kidding myself into thinking this friend thing could work. Either guys just aren't good friends or maybe it's Maybelline.

Sunday

What if the boys I write about actually read my blog. This has happened once and I actually wasn't all that sorry for it. Karma Bitch. But some of the boys wouldn't feel to fondly about what I write about them. In reality they don't deserve the sharp end of my blogger tongue but hey life is tough and you can't ever believe what someone write in their diary/journal. It's full of emotions and not a lot of thought.

Shameless

"Did she finally notice the cold, dead marbles where your eyes should be?" - Weeds

This is a late night ramble. No judging. 

I got an awkward text today. I'm not ready to be in a relationship nor am I ready to be thought of as some friends with benefits girl. As if. I'm not sure if that is what they were implying or if they were implying more. Either way. No. I had to get my phone fixed and in doing this had to reset an old phone with my 2009 phone where I found some old texts from the ex. It was depressing in a way. I think it's like he said. You don't want me, you just want the relationship. That's true. A+B=C Substitute B with whatever letter you want. It should still equal C? Well it's not working with this guy. I need to find another letter. 

School is starting soon and I'm getting that feeling again where I have no control over my life. Thus, I have started eating healthy and "working out." Maybe this will bring me some kind of accomplishment. My birthday is next week. Most anti-climactic birthday ever. It's so weird how quick life changes. I'm sure I'll be in a total different situation next year around this time. Just keep trekking. 

Oh, the Places You'll Never Go

"So you start your own blog

But there’s no cash to be made

On detailing how hard it is

For you to get laid

And deeper and deeper

Into despair you will spiral

As you realize you’re gonna

Be broke for a while

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked

Some windows are lighted

But mostly they’re darked

Yet now you are desperate

Not to move home

And live with your parents, Diane and Jerome

So down the dark alley

To meet with the man

Who sells crystal meth

From an old panel van

“One rock to resell”

Your hear yourself mutter

As you pray dealing drugs

Gets you out of the gutter

Except that it won’t

And you’re screwed if you don’t

You’re in the game now

There’s no way to leave

Besides waging a drug war

On a midsummer’s eve"

-Mass Media

Relationships

Relationships amaze me. All of them. "Did you do this to get back at me?" Let's analyze that statement here. First of all. What kind of person thinks someone is out to get them for something they did? What kind of person does things that people need to "get back at" you for? Look at yourself before you start accusing me of things. I didn't do something to get back at you. Not everything I do is about YOU. Talk about self centered. If you have been living with enough guilt about something that you did to me, that me doing something that causes the least bit of pain to you makes you think I had some diabolical plan to get back at you. Please get over yourself. I'm glad you can finally see that you were shitty to me but that doesn't mean I'm sinking down to your level. I fucked up. I'm sorry. People aren't perfect and I didn't do this to "get back at" you. 

The fact that this exact quote has been said to me twice makes me think...who am I associating with? Real friends shouldn't give me a reason to get back at them. I recently listened to a podcast called FRENEMIES. And it addressed being friends with people that cause you stress. I don't need to be friends with these kind of people. Life is short. I need to focus on what is important and makes me happy. 

MTV True Life: I watch MTV

Some of my Favorite Quotes from my new BFF TV:


"You never returned any of my calls..."
 "My phone was sick" 
      - Childrens Hospital


"What is this?" 
"Someone left an orphan here" 
"Get rid of it!"
     - Childrens Hospital


"He'll find someone else. Someone who appreciates his kind of smothering love" 
     - Girls


Everyone has officially left.  I traveled for a bit but now I'm back in Norman till school starts pretty much. I'm not sure what I'll do on my days off. I have already seen every tv show I can think of. There is 24 and Twin Peaks. I guess I could dedicate a few days to those.

So lets plan something interesting for my 3 days off.....

1. Clean out all my clothes I don't wear
2. Cook something fun
3. Sell stuff on Amazon
4. Buy something........
5. FIX PHONE! I really need to do this
6. Make my nephew's 2nd book
7. Prepare my body for Thursday's episode of Awkward.

Blame the Broken Social Scene

"This face is an awesome face." -Workaholics

For the 4th of July this year I went with my family to Sea World! I had never been and it was awesome. I will never understand how smart those animals are. Amazing. 

On the 4th we went to all the shows and then on the 5th we went back to the water park section. So cute to see Jaiden get excited about the water. Also got super tan that day. Hello Mexican Selina. Where have you been you vampire? 

(Sorry this is out of order) On the 3rd we went to Fredericksburg to climb the Enchanted Rock. I thought I was going to throw up. I'm a failure for my generation. 

The night of the 4th we went to downtown San Antonio to see the firework show. It was a lot of fun. Good food. Lots of Mexicans. It's been a while since I was this submerged in my culture. 

I got my nose pierced!!!! Again. No surgeries to set me back this time. Getting my hoop later today. Hopefully it looks cute and not working girl on the street corner on a Wednesday night like. Crossing fingers. 

I also got some new nerd glasses. I think they're pretty cute. Have to bump up hipster status if I am to pull them off. Need new wardrobe and to be vegan. One step at a time. 

Today is Ashley's going away party :((( Ashley has been a huge part of my life while I've been at OU and I'm going to miss her more than words can explain. Ugh life is really moving on. I need my dog right now :(

Debbie Day A.K.A. Wednesday

"I don't want to wake up in the morning
But I've got to face the day
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say

I don't want to do things independently
But I can't make you stay
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say

But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me

I don't want to see you with another guy
But the fact is that I may
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say

Give it just another couple months or so
Then you'll be ok
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say

Alone, all alone
I am on my own
Alone, all alone
I am on my own

But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me

If you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me...."


--The Vaccines


I've been feeling so weird lately. I was feeling pretty awesome about life until some Friday ago. Had a nice lunch with my friend and then I got some really disturbing news. I've done it so I've been told. My friend's joked about me being attracted to basically guys that were the same make and model of my ex but I never really thought much about it. When the roles get reversed though I flipped. I did the same thing but I wonder if it ever effected them like it is effecting me. A relationship not working out is one thing but then for them to go and date someone who looks apparently like your "doppelgänger" is really fucked up. Didn't want to date me but someone who looks just like me is ok. So it wasn't how I looked just me. Awwwwwwesome. Well obviously I'm taking this too seriously and being a weirdo but I'm me and I'm a weirdo. So why do I mention this? Well, I'd like to mark that Friday as the beginning of my downfall. Since then life's been...blah. Did things I said I wouldn't and alcohol content has reached max levels. I dyed my hair back to black and got my nose pierced. Might get a tattoo. Probably shouldn't though. I never wanted one really. I think I'm acting out. I shouldn't let some guy who I had pegged as a loser effect me so much. I didn't want him till he was gone. In fact both of them were total losers and look what I've let them do to me. I've never had my heart broken by someone worth while. I'll probably go crazy when that happens. Asylum time. If I could go back in time I would tell Freshman Selina to stay away from boys. Life is really better without them. Don't know what you're missing till it's gone right? Based on my current scenario I don't know what I'm going to do. I just really pictured things going differently and my current life and relationship with my friends has never really included boys. I keep those lives separately I guess. I try not to let my friends see how crazy I can really get. The boys know...boy do they know. Not my poor innocent friends though. I try to save them from it. I really have to get over this boy. I shouldn't have ever let him fuck me up this way. I obvi have rejection issues. You'd think I'd be hung over the boy I spent 3 years of my life with but it was easy to get over that. Probably because of the relationship we had. I like having power in my relationships but I'm not sure that is what will ultimately make me happy. Having too much power is boring. There's no guessing. I always thought people who liked the chase were assholes but here I am. I'm really confused :( Well..I'm rambling. I don't think I'm ready for this again. Back into my bubble with my gays where nothing can harm me please. 

Went to SeaWorld for the 4th. I'll post about it next time. Have to go get ready to party now. 

Laters baby xoxo

April and May through Instragram

"You taste like a burger. I don't like you anymore"-Wet Hot American Summer

Thank you to the nice neighbors I have at Post Oak. Lilly has now gone rogue twice and escaped my loving apartment but I got her back. *evil laugh* jk I know she loves me. 

These pics always seem less silly in the moment...

Made several trips to Altus in April

Jaiden turned 2!!!!! He's so adorable. If only he could stay at this stage.

Me at his party. They brought out the cascarones. 

Later that night I went to the gayborhood in Dallas with Jose. I got a bit sloppy. When I'm drunk I think I'm uber sexy.....reality proves otherwise. 

Had so much fun with this boy! He's a sweet heart.

Still liking my job 6 months later. Who would have thought. 

Where there are tornado storms there is alcohol.  

Surgery #2

Cinco De Mayo

Had a fun night with my boys. 

Official start of summer

Having fun with the Best Buy Crew before Justyn leaves us forever :(

First pedicure since the incident!!!! I needed it so bad. 

The last couple of weeks I've been spending it with these lovely boys :) I love them dearly and can't wait to have many more summer adventures with them. 

Birthday Weekend

"Barack Obama reminds me of a young me." - James Franco

This weekend was my nephew's second birthday! So of course I had to bake something. This year instead of cupcakes I went with cake pops. 

Step 1: Bake a cake. 

Step 2: Prepare supplies.

Step 3: Take a picture of yourself with cake to prove you made it. 

Step 4: Mix cake with icing. 

Step 5: Watch adorable nephew try and help you. 

Step 6: Place cake/icing mixture in freezer for about 15 minutes so that it gets a little thicker. 

Step 7: Roll cake/icing mixture into balls. 

Step 8: Melt some chocolate and dip sticks in this so that they will stay in the balls. 

Step 9: Refrigerate balls with sticks in them for about 1 hour. 

Step 10: Melt more chocolate and dip cake pops into it. 

Step 11: Allow chocolate to harden then decorate.

Step 12: Eat. 

What I'm doing instead of homework

I've been trying to master this black and white effect that I like but I didn't get quite there. Next time...

This was a color edit. I am trying to stay closer to natural tones. I tend to go towards blue/ purple shades so this was an experiment of sorts. If anyone wants to know how I do the edits just ask. They are pretty easy to do.