Friday, August 31, 2012

Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys

"I don't go to gay clubs or gay bars cause I don't know. I have a feeling someone could roofie my drink there." -Sahil

This show sums up my life. Being single and in my 40s...lets hope it doesn't get to that point though. I would die. It really explains what I've tried to explain when people ask me why I have so many gay guy friends. Because they are awesome and it's a different relationship from what you can have with a straight guy or girl. "Guys who will never leave you." That's kind of a desperate quote but it's so true. I like having friendships with guys but when they are straight they tend to leave. I'm not sure if it's me that's doing something wrong. They would probably say yes. Either way they are gone and that's something my gay boys have never done.

I have said that if I randomly got knocked up and was going to put my baby up for adoption I would want to give it to a gay male couple. Because of my love for them and fantasies I have seen on TV. This new show The New Normal has brought up a new question for me though. Surrogacy. I would never want to have my first baby be a surrogacy pregnancy but it made me think would I do it after that? Unlike in the show where Nathan is asking Crystal to be his baby oven I would want my gay friend to be in a committed relationship so the baby would have two parents. I think I would do it though. Like in Thew New Normal they seem to be really in love and would be great parents for the child. It would be a huge deal though. Crystal in the show is 40 and she brings up some valid concerns. With her age the pregnancy is at risk and her body would never be the same. When it's your baby you make exceptions because it's your child and all. The egg donation would be freaky too. That child is yours too basically. That would be hard to just give away. All these things are really difficult to think about so it would have to take a lot of thought and consideration for your love of your friend or friends and what the future of that child would be. I don't think Crystal should have Nathan's baby though. He showed up hung over and late to the meeting where he was even going to ask her. It's like he wants it as a whim thing and needs to put a lot more thought into it. Also being a single parent isn't ideal. Looking forward to seeing what happens.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Teenage Throw Back

Remember that one time in Junior High when they called us into the office to ask if our teacher had ever touched any of the female students inappropriately? I'm currently watching Enlightened and they had a similar situation happen. Everyone called into the office and questioned about what "happened." I was fourteen. How awkward of an age is that? It was like I was living in an episode of 7th Heaven. Well of course our teacher wasn't molesting any one but he was a bit creepy and let girls sit on his desk. I wonder what happened to get him brought to the attention of the vice principle. We'll never know. Actually, Altus is a pretty small town so I'm sure if I asked the right people I could find out. Nothing will ever top that female coach having a relationship with her teenage daughter's bff story I heard from Chelsea but Altus did have an undercover cop run a drug bust at our high school so I'll always have that golden memory to hold on to. I'm so glad those days are over.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

So this is College...

"What is it like to see blue?" - Prof Judisch

These are some random thoughts I wrote down in class today: 

Hipsters take Philosophy
-I saw four, FOUR, people with hipster glasses in class today. Pretty much my hipster wet dream. One was super cute. The others were true hipsters. 

She contorts her body to write any minute word on her paper
-This girl seemed like a normal person, but wait, there's more. Anytime she would write something on her syllabus she would lay her head down on the table and take about 3 min to write down the word Tuesday. Who is this girl? Do you need glasses? The last word I saw her write was "Does not take attendance." This did not surprise me. 

Teacher has curly hair, but I think he is likable despite this. 

Teacher started out funny but now has moved into borderline sexual predator territory. 
-There were several of his repeat students in the class. All female. Need I say more? 

Graduating early. "They just want your money." 
We went to Mars. I say we like I did it. NASA went to Mars. "Well we did pay for it." 
-These two quotes, sir, are all I need to hear to know I'm sitting in front of a douche bag.

He remembered me from two other classes we had together. I did not.
-He's obviously in love me with. That was months ago. He must have been starring at me every day in class. 
-False. He has decent memory. I do not. 

My Psychology of Prejudice teacher is Middle Eastern. I expected a white person. Is this irony at its best? 
-After further observation I realize he is Latino. I can't even tell my own race. 

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I'm having their baby

"How to be sure that what you say is the truth

When I see flaws in everything that you do?"
-Wolf Gang

How do the girls on this show pay for the hospital bills to have "their" baby? Just a random thought. This show is pretty interesting if you haven't seen it. Mostly young girls that already have 1-2 kids and are already over the whole having a new baby thing. In a recent pregnancy scare (I'm never having sex again) I realized just how much pregnancy is everywhere. Like EVERYWHERE. Or at least that's how it seemed. Turn on the tv, EPT commercial. Watch Shameless and girl gets pregnant. Go to to check out the new Glee Project and video for "I'm having their baby" pops up. Well, I live to bleed another day so no worries on my end but lets just say I was searching through my closet for wire hangers. The show follows these girls who have chosen to do a great thing. Putting up a baby for adoption is the bravest thing most people can do. I think it's probably braver than actually raising the baby yourself. It is your baby you feel like you have to raise it. Like it's the right thing to do but the right thing to do is provide the best life for your baby and in some cases that means giving it to a family who wants it from day 1 and has the means to provide it with what it wants. But back to my original question. Where do they get the money for it? Having babies ain't cheap. Do the adoptive parents pay for all their stuff? I know it's not legal but is it unspoken in every planned adoption? Cause having a baby is like a job and if I were having a baby, this girl don't work for free.

It was my birthday last week and now school is starting. I feel weird. School should be ok. Like it always is I guess. I need something to look forward to. Graduation just isn't that inciting since I will then feel like a bum. 22 living in a college town not going to college. Yeah.....

Dating I'm not sure I should talk about it. Do people read this? lol. One of my friends isn't talking to me any more. I broke his "trust" or whatever that means. It kind of bums me out because we were pretty good friends but I'm not going to get caught up in some high school bull shit so I must move on. My straight guy friends pretty much all let me down on my birthday get together so I've finally come to the realization that I need to stop kidding myself into thinking this friend thing could work. Either guys just aren't good friends or maybe it's Maybelline.

Sunday, August 19, 2012


What if the boys I write about actually read my blog. This has happened once and I actually wasn't all that sorry for it. Karma Bitch. But some of the boys wouldn't feel to fondly about what I write about them. In reality they don't deserve the sharp end of my blogger tongue but hey life is tough and you can't ever believe what someone write in their diary/journal. It's full of emotions and not a lot of thought.

Friday, August 10, 2012


"Did she finally notice the cold, dead marbles where your eyes should be?" - Weeds

This is a late night ramble. No judging. 

I got an awkward text today. I'm not ready to be in a relationship nor am I ready to be thought of as some friends with benefits girl. As if. I'm not sure if that is what they were implying or if they were implying more. Either way. No. I had to get my phone fixed and in doing this had to reset an old phone with my 2009 phone where I found some old texts from the ex. It was depressing in a way. I think it's like he said. You don't want me, you just want the relationship. That's true. A+B=C Substitute B with whatever letter you want. It should still equal C? Well it's not working with this guy. I need to find another letter. 

School is starting soon and I'm getting that feeling again where I have no control over my life. Thus, I have started eating healthy and "working out." Maybe this will bring me some kind of accomplishment. My birthday is next week. Most anti-climactic birthday ever. It's so weird how quick life changes. I'm sure I'll be in a total different situation next year around this time. Just keep trekking.