Monday, September 19, 2011

Cause the Cool Kids Do, What the Cool Kids Want

"Now that I've met Raffie, how can I go back to Bear? I mean Bear did put me through obedience school, but does that mean I have to be unhappy for the rest of my life?" -Wilfred

Saturday I went with my best buy buddies to volunteer at a Stop Diabetes Walk. It's been a while that I've woken up before the sun. Right after the walk I had to go straight to work which wasn't my number one choice but I made it through the day and headed to Fort Worth as soon as I got off. Made it just in time for the OU game and ate some amazing pizza and drank some texas beer. 

My nephew has made so much progress this summer! He went from crawling to walking in just a few short weeks and now he's all over the place. He's finally getting to the point where I can play with him and take him to do stuff only people with kids are allowed to do! ToysRus and Chuckie Cheese better prepare themselves. 

He absolutely loves riding in his duck tricycle so hopefully the weather is better next time I come and we can actually go outside lol

Halloween is approaching so we went to Halloween City to pick Jaiden out a costume. He tried on three but the froggy costume was the most comfortable and he looked so cute! I can't wait for him to go trick-or-treating. Halloween is my most favorite holiday....well almost. Christmas has presents so it has it beat there. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Don't be a drag, Just be a queen

Jaiden Update: Jaiden has been making so much progress. My sister tells me he is crawling everywhere and should be walking in no time. It's so crazy to think this time last year he was just getting home for the first time and looking like a little old man. 

Thursday I had an amazing experience at The BOOM! It's this drag club in OKC where they have performers who dress in drag and do performances. They were all great and some of them had such elaborate performances it was crazy. Those heels they wear make me feel like less of a woman lol.

For my birthday Urban outfitters gave me a 20% off coupon so of course I took advantage of it. I bought this fabulous black lacy dress and a beautiful quilt to put over my bed. I definitely need color in this small room. 

Saturday was our first game!!!! I was out there 2 hours before the game to run the oklahoma flag and whoa it was hot. I was dripping sweat by the time we were done practicing then it came time for the real thing at 7. We did well and after we ran it I went over to a friends house to watch the game because there was no way I was standing out in that hot stadium another 4 hours. OU played a good game and beat Tulsa by quite a bit. Can't wait till the next game!

I bought Lilly a new harness so I can walk her easier in the mornings. The weather has been awesome lately so hopefully it stays like that so we can go on more walks. 

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones.

Things have been changing rapidly but I find that I am really learning a lot about myself. I'm breaking out of my shell and no longer hiding behind what is comfortable to me. On those words I made a mistake. Not a bad mistake per say but I shouldn't have done it. And I'm being vague here because I haven't told anyone and don't know how to. I just got out of a relationship and it's been a struggle to get over him. I loved him a lot but since the breakup things have changed. I still love him but I want more. I think he could give me more if he wanted to. I'm not sure if he is there yet and that is where my mistake comes in. He's not ready. You don't magically change in one month. And if he has he hasn't showed me. I want him to be the guy I want but there is just so much doubt in my mind. I'm confused. I want to be happy. That is what this whole thing was about. If this makes me happy I guess I should just go down this road but it could also spiral me back. I've made so much progress. Have I forgiven him? I don't know....I'm just really confused. I would like to incorporate him into my new life but it was always his life that bothered me. There is just so much history it's hard for me to just erase that as if we are starting off fresh. I need fresh. I don't know why I did it. I miss him yeah. But I don't miss the crap that he brings along. When he's with me it's ok. It's when he's away from me that bothers me and I shouldn't worry myself like that. I should trust him. I used to. I ruined the path I was on. I just hope I can recover.