Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Oh, the Places You'll Never Go


"So you start your own blog
But there’s no cash to be made
On detailing how hard it is
For you to get laid
And deeper and deeper
Into despair you will spiral
As you realize you’re gonna
Be broke for a while
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked
Some windows are lighted
But mostly they’re darked
Yet now you are desperate
Not to move home
And live with your parents, Diane and Jerome
So down the dark alley
To meet with the man
Who sells crystal meth
From an old panel van
“One rock to resell”
Your hear yourself mutter
As you pray dealing drugs
Gets you out of the gutter
Except that it won’t
And you’re screwed if you don’t
You’re in the game now
There’s no way to leave
Besides waging a drug war
On a midsummer’s eve"

Relationships
Relationships amaze me. All of them. "Did you do this to get back at me?" Let's analyze that statement here. First of all. What kind of person thinks someone is out to get them for something they did? What kind of person does things that people need to "get back at" you for? Look at yourself before you start accusing me of things. I didn't do something to get back at you. Not everything I do is about YOU. Talk about self centered. If you have been living with enough guilt about something that you did to me, that me doing something that causes the least bit of pain to you makes you think I had some diabolical plan to get back at you. Please get over yourself. I'm glad you can finally see that you were shitty to me but that doesn't mean I'm sinking down to your level. I fucked up. I'm sorry. People aren't perfect and I didn't do this to "get back at" you. 
The fact that this exact quote has been said to me twice makes me think...who am I associating with? Real friends shouldn't give me a reason to get back at them. I recently listened to a podcast called FRENEMIES. And it addressed being friends with people that cause you stress. I don't need to be friends with these kind of people. Life is short. I need to focus on what is important and makes me happy. 






Monday, July 30, 2012

MTV True Life: I watch MTV

Some of my Favorite Quotes from my new BFF TV:


"You never returned any of my calls..."
 "My phone was sick" 
      - Childrens Hospital


"What is this?" 
"Someone left an orphan here" 
"Get rid of it!"
     - Childrens Hospital


"He'll find someone else. Someone who appreciates his kind of smothering love" 
     - Girls


Everyone has officially left.  I traveled for a bit but now I'm back in Norman till school starts pretty much. I'm not sure what I'll do on my days off. I have already seen every tv show I can think of. There is 24 and Twin Peaks. I guess I could dedicate a few days to those.

So lets plan something interesting for my 3 days off.....

1. Clean out all my clothes I don't wear
2. Cook something fun
3. Sell stuff on Amazon
4. Buy something........
5. FIX PHONE! I really need to do this
6. Make my nephew's 2nd book
7. Prepare my body for Thursday's episode of Awkward.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Blame the Broken Social Scene

"This face is an awesome face." -Workaholics



For the 4th of July this year I went with my family to Sea World! I had never been and it was awesome. I will never understand how smart those animals are. Amazing. 


On the 4th we went to all the shows and then on the 5th we went back to the water park section. So cute to see Jaiden get excited about the water. Also got super tan that day. Hello Mexican Selina. Where have you been you vampire? 


(Sorry this is out of order) On the 3rd we went to Fredericksburg to climb the Enchanted Rock. I thought I was going to throw up. I'm a failure for my generation. 



The night of the 4th we went to downtown San Antonio to see the firework show. It was a lot of fun. Good food. Lots of Mexicans. It's been a while since I was this submerged in my culture. 


I got my nose pierced!!!! Again. No surgeries to set me back this time. Getting my hoop later today. Hopefully it looks cute and not working girl on the street corner on a Wednesday night like. Crossing fingers. 


I also got some new nerd glasses. I think they're pretty cute. Have to bump up hipster status if I am to pull them off. Need new wardrobe and to be vegan. One step at a time. 

Today is Ashley's going away party :((( Ashley has been a huge part of my life while I've been at OU and I'm going to miss her more than words can explain. Ugh life is really moving on. I need my dog right now :(

Debbie Day A.K.A. Wednesday

"I don't want to wake up in the morning
But I've got to face the day
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say

I don't want to do things independently
But I can't make you stay
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say

But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me

I don't want to see you with another guy
But the fact is that I may
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say

Give it just another couple months or so
Then you'll be ok
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say

Alone, all alone
I am on my own
Alone, all alone
I am on my own

But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me

If you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me...."



--The Vaccines


I've been feeling so weird lately. I was feeling pretty awesome about life until some Friday ago. Had a nice lunch with my friend and then I got some really disturbing news. I've done it so I've been told. My friend's joked about me being attracted to basically guys that were the same make and model of my ex but I never really thought much about it. When the roles get reversed though I flipped. I did the same thing but I wonder if it ever effected them like it is effecting me. A relationship not working out is one thing but then for them to go and date someone who looks apparently like your "doppelgänger" is really fucked up. Didn't want to date me but someone who looks just like me is ok. So it wasn't how I looked just me. Awwwwwwesome. Well obviously I'm taking this too seriously and being a weirdo but I'm me and I'm a weirdo. So why do I mention this? Well, I'd like to mark that Friday as the beginning of my downfall. Since then life's been...blah. Did things I said I wouldn't and alcohol content has reached max levels. I dyed my hair back to black and got my nose pierced. Might get a tattoo. Probably shouldn't though. I never wanted one really. I think I'm acting out. I shouldn't let some guy who I had pegged as a loser effect me so much. I didn't want him till he was gone. In fact both of them were total losers and look what I've let them do to me. I've never had my heart broken by someone worth while. I'll probably go crazy when that happens. Asylum time. If I could go back in time I would tell Freshman Selina to stay away from boys. Life is really better without them. Don't know what you're missing till it's gone right? Based on my current scenario I don't know what I'm going to do. I just really pictured things going differently and my current life and relationship with my friends has never really included boys. I keep those lives separately I guess. I try not to let my friends see how crazy I can really get. The boys know...boy do they know. Not my poor innocent friends though. I try to save them from it. I really have to get over this boy. I shouldn't have ever let him fuck me up this way. I obvi have rejection issues. You'd think I'd be hung over the boy I spent 3 years of my life with but it was easy to get over that. Probably because of the relationship we had. I like having power in my relationships but I'm not sure that is what will ultimately make me happy. Having too much power is boring. There's no guessing. I always thought people who liked the chase were assholes but here I am. I'm really confused :( Well..I'm rambling. I don't think I'm ready for this again. Back into my bubble with my gays where nothing can harm me please. 



Went to SeaWorld for the 4th. I'll post about it next time. Have to go get ready to party now. 
Laters baby xoxo