But I've got to face the day
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say
I don't want to do things independently
But I can't make you stay
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say
But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me
I don't want to see you with another guy
But the fact is that I may
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say
Give it just another couple months or so
Then you'll be ok
That's what all the friends I do not like as much as you say
Alone, all alone
I am on my own
Alone, all alone
I am on my own
But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me
If you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me
Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
It's alright if you wanna come back to me...."
--The Vaccines
I've been feeling so weird lately. I was feeling pretty awesome about life until some Friday ago. Had a nice lunch with my friend and then I got some really disturbing news. I've done it so I've been told. My friend's joked about me being attracted to basically guys that were the same make and model of my ex but I never really thought much about it. When the roles get reversed though I flipped. I did the same thing but I wonder if it ever effected them like it is effecting me. A relationship not working out is one thing but then for them to go and date someone who looks apparently like your "doppelgänger" is really fucked up. Didn't want to date me but someone who looks just like me is ok. So it wasn't how I looked just me. Awwwwwwesome. Well obviously I'm taking this too seriously and being a weirdo but I'm me and I'm a weirdo. So why do I mention this? Well, I'd like to mark that Friday as the beginning of my downfall. Since then life's been...blah. Did things I said I wouldn't and alcohol content has reached max levels. I dyed my hair back to black and got my nose pierced. Might get a tattoo. Probably shouldn't though. I never wanted one really. I think I'm acting out. I shouldn't let some guy who I had pegged as a loser effect me so much. I didn't want him till he was gone. In fact both of them were total losers and look what I've let them do to me. I've never had my heart broken by someone worth while. I'll probably go crazy when that happens. Asylum time. If I could go back in time I would tell Freshman Selina to stay away from boys. Life is really better without them. Don't know what you're missing till it's gone right? Based on my current scenario I don't know what I'm going to do. I just really pictured things going differently and my current life and relationship with my friends has never really included boys. I keep those lives separately I guess. I try not to let my friends see how crazy I can really get. The boys know...boy do they know. Not my poor innocent friends though. I try to save them from it. I really have to get over this boy. I shouldn't have ever let him fuck me up this way. I obvi have rejection issues. You'd think I'd be hung over the boy I spent 3 years of my life with but it was easy to get over that. Probably because of the relationship we had. I like having power in my relationships but I'm not sure that is what will ultimately make me happy. Having too much power is boring. There's no guessing. I always thought people who liked the chase were assholes but here I am. I'm really confused :( Well..I'm rambling. I don't think I'm ready for this again. Back into my bubble with my gays where nothing can harm me please.
Went to SeaWorld for the 4th. I'll post about it next time. Have to go get ready to party now.
Laters baby xoxo
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