Sunday, April 1, 2012

"Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?"

"So, this is what I’m like: if you come over to my house, I need to know your first and last name. I need to have your phone number and a person who we both know so you can’t disappear forever in case you murder me. Ultimately, it comes down to this: How embarrassing would it be for me to be talking to a detective at a precinct after you tried to rape and murder me in my home, and not be able to tell them your name or any information about you because we were having a one-night stand? I’ve seen Law & Order: SVU, I know how it works." - Mindy Kaling

Currently reading (a.k.a. listening) to Mindy Kaling's book "Is everyone hanging out without me?" Love it. I relate to a lot of what she says and wish I could be as cool as her. So life....what is there to say. Well it's not going well. That's an understatement. Still dragging around the dead leg, still single, losing friends by the handful, and due to all of this still battling alcoholism. Unfulfilled is what you could call it. The end of school is getting ever closer and this only reminds me that I will soon have to work really hard and prepare myself for disappointment. Like I could use some more. I don't mean to be a Debbie here. I know that's total lame sauce but the fact remains; It's a scary thing..growing up. Let's cheer this shit up...umm free Starbucks at work today!?? no that's lame. Umm my adorable nephew is turning two soon! wait no one really cares about that besides me and my family. Ok this one is the winner: I have a cute gaybor!!! Yes a cute gay neighbor. Lilly once again played her wingwoman card and ran up to this cutie and won his heart. I've met him once after this event and we exchanged the usual 2am small talk. I fully expect for us to be bff soon and I see many sassy judgmental conversations about people we are secretly jealous of in our future. Speaking of other exciting events, I experienced my first police party bust! It wasn't quite the hiding behind couches and jumping fences experience I had imagined it would be. More like a "did the cops get called?!" "yeah" "oh ok" "Well see you guys later." Then I just saw two cops standing on the yard with a flash light that they would turn on once in a while. How disappointing, Norman PD. Where is my Super Bad experience I was fully prepared to have??? After this we also got stopped at a DUI checkpoint. I have never felt more reassured that I should never drive drunk. As one of my friends sadly now knows. Well I think this is enough for now. Hopefully in the next post I'll be writing about how I've hit it big and from this moment on demand to be called "Your awesomeness"...bye!

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